Monday, April 17, 2006
Ang mababaw kong sis-in-law
It's so annoying to talk to people who don't really listen. One of my sisters-in-law is like that. When you talk to her, she has this way of bursting with superlatives as a commentary for any update you give her and she bombards you with affectionate words like sweeties and honeys that it drowns out whatever you're really trying to say, and then she ends that conversation quickly with some endearments. She almost always does it in the same manner too.
"That's great! Okay, honey. I'll talk to you soon -- kisses and hugs!!!" (complete with a plastered politician kind of smile).
*roll eyes*
She may mean it but it just totally comes across as insincere, dismissive and so damn condescending. She should have been a politician. Most of the talks I've had with her have been very superficial, just weather, health, major events and such. I have known her for six years and we haven't gone beyond skimming the surface. The couple of times that I do remember delving just a little bit, she voiced opinions that I gently disagreed with, and told her pointedly why. She couldn't argue.
I think she considers herself more righteous and knowledgeable than anyone else so I guess she has no patience to listen to what she may consider as prattle from anyone else. Or, she may just have a short attention span. No matter what it is, it bugs the hell out of me.
That's probably why her kids always seem to have attention-deficit. Boy, they can talk your ears off when they have you as their captive audience. They have this habit of talking over each other to you, all at the same time that you don't know how and who to listen to.
Now I know why.
"That's great! Okay, honey. I'll talk to you soon -- kisses and hugs!!!" (complete with a plastered politician kind of smile).
*roll eyes*
She may mean it but it just totally comes across as insincere, dismissive and so damn condescending. She should have been a politician. Most of the talks I've had with her have been very superficial, just weather, health, major events and such. I have known her for six years and we haven't gone beyond skimming the surface. The couple of times that I do remember delving just a little bit, she voiced opinions that I gently disagreed with, and told her pointedly why. She couldn't argue.
I think she considers herself more righteous and knowledgeable than anyone else so I guess she has no patience to listen to what she may consider as prattle from anyone else. Or, she may just have a short attention span. No matter what it is, it bugs the hell out of me.
That's probably why her kids always seem to have attention-deficit. Boy, they can talk your ears off when they have you as their captive audience. They have this habit of talking over each other to you, all at the same time that you don't know how and who to listen to.
Now I know why.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Complain, complain, complain!
I don't hear from her much from her. But when I get a phone call or an IM, more often than, she has some new problem to worry and whine about.
This friend of mine has a life that a lot of people would envy. An attractive woman who has a lovely home and drives nice cars. She's married to a very nice and sweet man who's a scion from a wealthy family, but also happens to earn a good living as a professional. He earns well enough so she can stay at home and concentrate on raising her kids, and still have plenty to spare to sample things that a lot of people cannot afford to have.
My net worth isn't probably even half of hers, but when we talk, you'd think the world was crashing on her. She hasn't even gone through the many things that I have had to endure in my life and yet I'm so much more positive about life than she is. I keep reminding her how she has led a seemingly charmed life and that many people are worse off than her - that she has to count her blessings. It's like talking to a brick wall. When I say that, her responses tell me that she thinks she's just way above those ordinary people that are supposedly worse off than her that it's something I shouldn't even say. And I may be wrong, but there's also this gut feeling that I have been trying to ignore. Sometimes, I also feel that she just complains in order to rub it in that she has more than me and most people. Di ko ma-explain, but those who have experienced it will know what I mean.
She likes to wallow in her pity party and constantly sends me an invitation. I've tried so hard to be a good sounding board and lift her up, each and every time. I can honestly say I've been a great friend but I think I'm going to be available less and less. Nakakapagod na kasi, 'noh!
This friend of mine has a life that a lot of people would envy. An attractive woman who has a lovely home and drives nice cars. She's married to a very nice and sweet man who's a scion from a wealthy family, but also happens to earn a good living as a professional. He earns well enough so she can stay at home and concentrate on raising her kids, and still have plenty to spare to sample things that a lot of people cannot afford to have.
My net worth isn't probably even half of hers, but when we talk, you'd think the world was crashing on her. She hasn't even gone through the many things that I have had to endure in my life and yet I'm so much more positive about life than she is. I keep reminding her how she has led a seemingly charmed life and that many people are worse off than her - that she has to count her blessings. It's like talking to a brick wall. When I say that, her responses tell me that she thinks she's just way above those ordinary people that are supposedly worse off than her that it's something I shouldn't even say. And I may be wrong, but there's also this gut feeling that I have been trying to ignore. Sometimes, I also feel that she just complains in order to rub it in that she has more than me and most people. Di ko ma-explain, but those who have experienced it will know what I mean.
She likes to wallow in her pity party and constantly sends me an invitation. I've tried so hard to be a good sounding board and lift her up, each and every time. I can honestly say I've been a great friend but I think I'm going to be available less and less. Nakakapagod na kasi, 'noh!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Being the Parent to My Mom
I'm the child. I'm supposed to learn from my parent - be guided, be corrected, be led by them. But that has ceased happening between me and my mom. More and more, I find myself being the parent to my mother. I've come to a point where I find myself gently reminding my mother what the proper response is to certain situations and people. I'm not sure if my Mom is going through her second childhood or that she really has not matured past a certain stage in life.
It's very frustrating for me to be telling my mom how to deal with family/relationship crisis, when she should be the one imparting wisdom to me in my everyday dealings. Most children run to their parents when they have problems. I don't. I don't trust that my mom will give me the proper advice sometimes. She has the ability to empathize greatly with her kids that she can become blind to our faults. She becomes incapable of being impartial enough not to side with us when we need the correction. So when I want advice, I need to find someone else to run to who will tell me the truth even if it hurts me, or I have to figure it out on my own. Nakakalungkot.
It's very frustrating for me to be telling my mom how to deal with family/relationship crisis, when she should be the one imparting wisdom to me in my everyday dealings. Most children run to their parents when they have problems. I don't. I don't trust that my mom will give me the proper advice sometimes. She has the ability to empathize greatly with her kids that she can become blind to our faults. She becomes incapable of being impartial enough not to side with us when we need the correction. So when I want advice, I need to find someone else to run to who will tell me the truth even if it hurts me, or I have to figure it out on my own. Nakakalungkot.
Free Hit Counter
